Before I got pregnant, I prayed over and over again that my baby would be a mover. I heard people complain that their baby moved so much that they couldn't sleep, and I knew that that would be the perfect baby for me. Because I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, I knew that I would want constant reassurance that my baby was okay.
Once I did get pregnant, I had myself convinced before every doctor's appointment that my baby had died. I would get so worked up and nervous about my appointments. Then I would go and they would find the heartbeat right away and everything would be fine and healthy. So why keep worrying? Unless you have an anxiety disorder (or have had a miscarriage), this is something you will probably never understand. The thing is, I KNEW everything was fine...but what if it wasn't? My baby is healthy...but a lot of babies aren't. I haven't had any signs of miscarriage...but not every woman has signs. And so the doubts creep in, and park themselves right in my heart.
So that's why, I am SO grateful that my baby is a MOVER. She squirms and kicks. She likes to hang out right up against the outside of my belly, stretching it out as far as it will go. She uses my lungs as pillows and my bladder as a trampoline...and I am SO GLAD. I won't lie, it isn't comfortable. It keeps me up at night and the pressure is...ugh. But, at almost any time of the day, I can press on my belly and find her. There is nearly always some body part pushed up against the outside of my stomach. I have the gift of reassurance every day.
I am thankful every day for answered prayers.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Thursday, May 8, 2014
The Trip
On Monday I returned home after a 2.5 week trip to see Andrew and my family. This is really long, but I want to write it so that I remember. You are welcome to stop reading at any point or just skim to look at the pictures.
4/17 Drove from home in SC to my parents' house in VA. Visited with Kevin and Mom at the high school, where Kevin was doing concessions for the All American Relays (track meet). Babysat Susan's kids while she worked at the event. Took B, Z, and C to an "Easter egg drop" at the elementary school, where a helicopter came and dropped plastic eggs for the kids. There were not nearly enough eggs for the number of children there, but it was fun and it was sweet to see all of the older kids who actually managed to get eggs share with the little ones (Carter got the most eggs of all the kids - cute factor). Then after Brian got home from work I left the kids with him and went to a surprise birthday party for Chris Mattson (40) and Glenn Davis (60). It was a busy afternoon.
4/18 After taking Piper for a nice, long walk with my mom in the morning, we drove the rest of the way to Maryland! Piper was a champ in the car (both days), and slept the whole way in her carseat. We got stuck in heavy traffic when we got close to Baltimore, so instead of going straight to the hotel to check in as planned, we decided to go straight to base to see Andrew instead since he was already done with school for the day. We happened to be very close to base when we made that decision (although I didn't actually know that when we decided on the new plan), so we got there within about 15 minutes. So we picked up Andrew and went to the hotel in downtown Baltimore. HOORAY!!! TOGETHER AGAIN!!!! We ordered dinner from Dominos and just spent time together that evening. Piper was very happy to see Andrew again, but she did act a little more attached to me than she would have normally if he was there. I'm really glad I took her because I really think she needed some time with him before the baby comes.
4/19-4/20 We took Piper to a dog park Saturday morning. It was part of a much bigger park, so we walked around the entire park until we finally found it close to where we parked (in the opposite direction of where we decided to start walking). Good thing the park was a circle! Piper had fun in the nice fenced-in area, but we learned that she is not a very social dog. She wasn't mean to the other dogs, she just didn't play with them either. She was content to just run around by herself and ignore everyone else (except Andrew and me). I liked that they had two separate areas for small and large dogs.
Piper stayed in the hotel in the afternoon while we went to hang out at the mall and just spend time together. It didn't really matter what we decided to do, we were just glad to be together. Andrew had to learn to walk slow (which apparently they just don't DO in the military) and be patient, because at 30 weeks pregnant (notice how the baby is making her presence known in the picture above) I just couldn't keep up. That night we spent a VERY long time trying to find dinner in Baltimore - we finally ended up at a very overpriced restaurant where neither of us got filled up and we weren't huge fans of the food. Apparently we just aren't fancy food people.
Sunday was Easter. We went to church, but couldn't stay the whole time because we had already checked out of our hotel which meant that Piper had to stay in the car. Then Andrew had been told he had a rope meeting at 4:20, so we headed back to base to hang out there until the meeting. I dropped him off around 4:00, and was on my way to my Aunt and Uncle's house when he called and said that the rope meeting was actually at 6:20. So I went back and we ate dinner together - I wasn't going to miss 2 hours I could be spending with him!!! Then I dropped him off a little before 6:00 and got on the road to Charles Town. I got to Aunt Jo and Uncle Jim's at around 7:30 and we just relaxed until bedtime.
4/21-4/24 I spent the week with my Aunt Jo and Uncle Jim. While Uncle Jim went to work during the day, I got to spend a lot of time with Aunt Jo. It was a lot of fun to hear stories about my dad's family and about my aunt and uncle's (and cousin's) time in the Navy (my Uncle Jim retired from the Navy after 29 years - he was a Captain). I've never spent much one-on-one time with ANY of my aunts/uncles, so I really enjoyed the opportunity to do so. I found that we actually have a lot in common and wished we would have been closer when I was younger. It also made me wish that I could go spend a week with all of the others!
Aunt Jo spoiled the baby and me while we were there. We did some thrift shopping and got a TON of clothes for little miss at some awesome prices. I got a pedicure while Aunt Jo got her hair cut. We went to Costco - where I had never been before.
Piper and Aunt Jo & Uncle Jim's dog Elliot got along great the whole week. They played some, but mostly just ignored each other. No fighting though, so I was happy. Every time Piper peed in the yard Elliot made sure to pee in that exact spot immediately after she finished. I guess he didn't want her getting any ideas - he was allowing her to be there, but it was still HIS yard. Piper really liked that dogs have free reign at their house, so she was allowed to lay in her favorite spot on the back of the couch.
4/25-4/27 Back to Andrew! On Friday Andrew didn't have class and there was a picnic at the detachment (where Andrew lives), so we got there at around 12:00 for that. We ate some hamburgers and hot dogs and I got to meet all the of the Air Force people that Andrew lives with. It was a little weird to be reminded that our lives are so separate that he has a whole set of friends/acquaintances that I know nothing about. Everyone was really nice and excited to see Piper, even though she tucked her tail and tried to climb me whenever someone got too close. We left in the afternoon to check in at the hotel, this one much closer to base than the one we were at the previous weekend since Andrew had to be back at midnight each night (he only got permission to actually stay off base the first weekend, but it worked fine because he just took the car at night and then drove back to the hotel early in the morning - I was asleep pretty much the whole time he was gone).
I'm not entirely sure about the order of the rest of the weekend, but I know we ate dinner at Longhorn one night (it was delicious and Andrew ate his whole steak), and we went to the mall again at some point. Andrew got Toms since he can't wear sandals in the dining facility and he wanted something he could wear with shorts and without socks - his go-to footwear is flip flops, ALWAYS.
Saturday morning we took Piper to the dog park on base, which was basically just a huge field with a fence around it. I thought it was really cool that they had one though, and it was great because she just got to run around without her leash and get out some energy. Again she pretty much ignored all of the other dogs and people. We tried to take her again Sunday afternoon but there were A LOT of cars there so we decided to just walk her on a leash in an open field.
We also got late check-out on Sunday so that we could leave Piper in the hotel while we went to church since it was much hotter outside than it had been the previous Sunday. We were still only able to stay for 2 hours because we had to get back to check out (late check-out wasn't quite late enough), but it was much better for her to be able to stay in the hotel.
I dropped Andrew off around 6:00 on Sunday and that was it. We said goodbye, and I left. As we drove away Piper started crying (really, that is the only word for what she was doing because it was different than her normal whining), which made me start to cry too.
We drove back to Aunt Jo and Uncle Jim's house in Charles Town for one more night. Then on Monday morning, I headed back to my parents' house in VA.
4/28-5/5 I stayed at my parents' house for a whole week, which I haven't done in quite a while. Highlights, in no particular order: I spent a lot of time at Susan's while I was there, and got a ton of cool baby stuff! Score! I played a lot of games at night with my parents and Kevin. I went to dinner with just my Dad and Daniel, which was fun. I had a baby shower on Saturday, where I got to see a lot of people that I knew growing up. The turnout was great and the baby and I were completely spoiled again. I spent time with my niece and nephews. B and I went to a fun place in the mall where she picked out a ceramic flower and we painted it together. It turned out really cute and was a good way for us to spend some time together before we move. I read C his favorite book over and over again until I eventually memorized it. I taught my mom a little about cloth diapers (for C). I just had a lot of fun!
Then on Monday I drove back home to SC after a great trip. It was a good way to just relax and see a lot of people that I love before my life is turned upside down.
Piper was very excited to be home. Melody (Andrew's mom) just happened to be in the driveway when we pulled up and Piper was so excited to see her that she "leaked" a little in her car seat. I am very lucky to have the best in-laws ever who care so much about me, my baby, and my dog.
The next time I see Andrew, we will have a baby! It's really hard for me to do this pregnancy thing without him, but I know that he is doing what is right for our family in the long run. I love youuu!
4/17 Drove from home in SC to my parents' house in VA. Visited with Kevin and Mom at the high school, where Kevin was doing concessions for the All American Relays (track meet). Babysat Susan's kids while she worked at the event. Took B, Z, and C to an "Easter egg drop" at the elementary school, where a helicopter came and dropped plastic eggs for the kids. There were not nearly enough eggs for the number of children there, but it was fun and it was sweet to see all of the older kids who actually managed to get eggs share with the little ones (Carter got the most eggs of all the kids - cute factor). Then after Brian got home from work I left the kids with him and went to a surprise birthday party for Chris Mattson (40) and Glenn Davis (60). It was a busy afternoon.
4/18 After taking Piper for a nice, long walk with my mom in the morning, we drove the rest of the way to Maryland! Piper was a champ in the car (both days), and slept the whole way in her carseat. We got stuck in heavy traffic when we got close to Baltimore, so instead of going straight to the hotel to check in as planned, we decided to go straight to base to see Andrew instead since he was already done with school for the day. We happened to be very close to base when we made that decision (although I didn't actually know that when we decided on the new plan), so we got there within about 15 minutes. So we picked up Andrew and went to the hotel in downtown Baltimore. HOORAY!!! TOGETHER AGAIN!!!! We ordered dinner from Dominos and just spent time together that evening. Piper was very happy to see Andrew again, but she did act a little more attached to me than she would have normally if he was there. I'm really glad I took her because I really think she needed some time with him before the baby comes.
4/19-4/20 We took Piper to a dog park Saturday morning. It was part of a much bigger park, so we walked around the entire park until we finally found it close to where we parked (in the opposite direction of where we decided to start walking). Good thing the park was a circle! Piper had fun in the nice fenced-in area, but we learned that she is not a very social dog. She wasn't mean to the other dogs, she just didn't play with them either. She was content to just run around by herself and ignore everyone else (except Andrew and me). I liked that they had two separate areas for small and large dogs.
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| Walking Piper at the park (before we found the dog park). We were trying to show her the ducks, but apparently birds are only fun when they fly and these ducks were lazy. |
Sunday was Easter. We went to church, but couldn't stay the whole time because we had already checked out of our hotel which meant that Piper had to stay in the car. Then Andrew had been told he had a rope meeting at 4:20, so we headed back to base to hang out there until the meeting. I dropped him off around 4:00, and was on my way to my Aunt and Uncle's house when he called and said that the rope meeting was actually at 6:20. So I went back and we ate dinner together - I wasn't going to miss 2 hours I could be spending with him!!! Then I dropped him off a little before 6:00 and got on the road to Charles Town. I got to Aunt Jo and Uncle Jim's at around 7:30 and we just relaxed until bedtime.
4/21-4/24 I spent the week with my Aunt Jo and Uncle Jim. While Uncle Jim went to work during the day, I got to spend a lot of time with Aunt Jo. It was a lot of fun to hear stories about my dad's family and about my aunt and uncle's (and cousin's) time in the Navy (my Uncle Jim retired from the Navy after 29 years - he was a Captain). I've never spent much one-on-one time with ANY of my aunts/uncles, so I really enjoyed the opportunity to do so. I found that we actually have a lot in common and wished we would have been closer when I was younger. It also made me wish that I could go spend a week with all of the others!
Aunt Jo spoiled the baby and me while we were there. We did some thrift shopping and got a TON of clothes for little miss at some awesome prices. I got a pedicure while Aunt Jo got her hair cut. We went to Costco - where I had never been before.
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| This is the pile she had waiting for me when I got there Sunday night - before we went shopping. |
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| Pretty toes! |
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| I just thought this was funny. I didn't get it though. |
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| Obviously feeling right at home. Somehow we ended up with a couch-colored dog. It seems like everyone's couch matches Piper somehow. |
I'm not entirely sure about the order of the rest of the weekend, but I know we ate dinner at Longhorn one night (it was delicious and Andrew ate his whole steak), and we went to the mall again at some point. Andrew got Toms since he can't wear sandals in the dining facility and he wanted something he could wear with shorts and without socks - his go-to footwear is flip flops, ALWAYS.
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| This picture just makes my heart smile. (He was watching basketball, not sleeping. She watched too for a while but just couldn't last.) Also, this is proof that I am not the only one that she will lay with like this. |
We also got late check-out on Sunday so that we could leave Piper in the hotel while we went to church since it was much hotter outside than it had been the previous Sunday. We were still only able to stay for 2 hours because we had to get back to check out (late check-out wasn't quite late enough), but it was much better for her to be able to stay in the hotel.
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| This dog doesn't even know how spoiled she is... |
We drove back to Aunt Jo and Uncle Jim's house in Charles Town for one more night. Then on Monday morning, I headed back to my parents' house in VA.
4/28-5/5 I stayed at my parents' house for a whole week, which I haven't done in quite a while. Highlights, in no particular order: I spent a lot of time at Susan's while I was there, and got a ton of cool baby stuff! Score! I played a lot of games at night with my parents and Kevin. I went to dinner with just my Dad and Daniel, which was fun. I had a baby shower on Saturday, where I got to see a lot of people that I knew growing up. The turnout was great and the baby and I were completely spoiled again. I spent time with my niece and nephews. B and I went to a fun place in the mall where she picked out a ceramic flower and we painted it together. It turned out really cute and was a good way for us to spend some time together before we move. I read C his favorite book over and over again until I eventually memorized it. I taught my mom a little about cloth diapers (for C). I just had a lot of fun!
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| B with our masterpiece. Notice all those holes in her smile. (Somehow the way she is standing makes her look bigger than she is, this child is skinny as a rail.) |
Piper was very excited to be home. Melody (Andrew's mom) just happened to be in the driveway when we pulled up and Piper was so excited to see her that she "leaked" a little in her car seat. I am very lucky to have the best in-laws ever who care so much about me, my baby, and my dog.
The next time I see Andrew, we will have a baby! It's really hard for me to do this pregnancy thing without him, but I know that he is doing what is right for our family in the long run. I love youuu!
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